Well hello hello good ole' blog.
haven't written here in awhile and i think it's time for some updates.
Midterm was greaaaaaat.
BerBanana visited for the few days (:
we went to the beach with my crew. Beautiful day with great company
couldn't ask for more really.
Embarassing Update.
OhEmGee I was in this shopping center with BerBanana when I bumped into this guy I chat
to now and then on Bebo. I was absolutely mortified beyond belief.
I tried to walk by him without getting noticed but to my luck
he called my name "Gunzeh!" and hugged me.
By this stage I was as red as a tomatoe and could barely speak. I guess I was shocked,
I wasn't prepared to run into him. God, was he tiny. Shame he's a bit of a looker haha.
He just asked me what was I doing and I could barely say the name of the film. Then he
went about his ways.
Anywaysss..
Monday morning normal school routine,quite boring tbh. It was a normal day for awhile untill break time. I was sitting there drinking my banana milk minding my own business when dumb&dumber show up to sit at the table. I thought it was Chemistry & was really
shocked when I realised it wasn't. Chemistry's reaction was pretty priceless when she walked in ahahaa. They attempted the same thing at lunch time but there was no room for them shaaaaaaame LOL.
Tuesday
Normal routine they sat with us again. It wasn't as akward at lunch though,I don't know why maybe things won't be as akward as I thought they would be? One can only dreaam.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Still pulling at my heart strings as usual.
Sorry haven't written anything here in awhile. I had nothing really interesting to say until now.
I'll start from the beginning.
I was making plans with my friend called Chemistry about a trip with her and a few other people to town. It sounded fun alot better than going to Millie's house & sitting in akward silence.I was pretty excited about going so I changed my msn personal message to something like 'yay towns going to be fun'. Then Millie's msn name starts flashing up,i click it to see what she's saying & she asks me 'are you going to town with the others?' all I replied was 'yea'. I was about to sign out because it was pretty late around 3am and all of a sudden her msn name starts flashing again. I clicked it,to my horror it was a paragraph of abuse from her to me because apparently i was excluding her from going to town with us. Firstly it wasn't my idea & secondly she's been barely talking to me so why should I invite somebody that doesn't acknowledge me?
I informed her that it wasn't my plan & that she should tell Chemistry & not me,but no.The abuse kept coming,so did my tears strolling down my face.I was so shocked,I couldn't believe it. She was sacraficing everything we've been through over town? I ended the conversation with 'I hope you can live with the guilt of ruining our friendship' and I signed out. I cried myself to sleep that night,I will never forget it.
Anyway next day was pretty normal,I went to town with my real friends. I told them all about Millie & how evil and cruel she was to me.They backed me up and I was so relieved. I had a great day in town thanks to them.
*
Today was quite embarassing for me. At around 1pm I decided to go on my laptop,because my friend had just left as she stayed over the night before. My msn started flashing it was aj.He's a decent guy,I mean he has let me down in the past but he is innocent at heart so I can forgive him for it. Well we started talking and our conversation started to get deep. I was reading twilight by this time and I was telling him how I wish I had an Edward Cullen of my own. He just found it amusing,he told me how much he was in love with his ex girlfriend.It touched me to see how in love he was,and all I could think about was him. Not Aj but you know the one that constantly pulls on my heartstrings? Yes that one. Well I started telling AJ how I felt about him. He told me I should tell him how I felt but to be honest I thought it was quite pointless at the time. Then guess who signs in just as I'm talking about him? I instantly produced a big cheesy grin as I seen his screen name flash. I hate it,how he has such power of me,I like to be in control.
I finally got the courage to tell him how I felt.I felt that he needed to know,he is my best friend,I tell him everything. I want him to know well atleast I thought I did at the time.He started asking me what I was thinking about so I thought 'perfect I'll tell him now'. It took me awhile to tell him,a good 20minutes or so. He already knew by the time I replied that it was him that I was thinking about. I admitted it with a simple sentence 'I still like you'. My heart suddenly started beating rapidly and i instantly hid the msn screen so I couldn't see his reply. I was so embarassed beyond belief and I was nearly hyperventilating. "What did I just say?" - I kept saying to myself.
I eventually became brave enough to click on his window to see what he replied,it was simply 'awwh' and as dense as I am I told him how embarassed I was and he simply replied "please don't be,I'm glad you told me". I basically started admitting a few other things for example "your smile makes my heart melt" which is rather embarassing,but I want him to know.I just have a feeling that he needs to know.
I feel so much better now,it's like a weight's been lifted off my shoulder. Atleast now when I get a rush of jealousy he will know why and not question it. Thank god.
I'll start from the beginning.
I was making plans with my friend called Chemistry about a trip with her and a few other people to town. It sounded fun alot better than going to Millie's house & sitting in akward silence.I was pretty excited about going so I changed my msn personal message to something like 'yay towns going to be fun'. Then Millie's msn name starts flashing up,i click it to see what she's saying & she asks me 'are you going to town with the others?' all I replied was 'yea'. I was about to sign out because it was pretty late around 3am and all of a sudden her msn name starts flashing again. I clicked it,to my horror it was a paragraph of abuse from her to me because apparently i was excluding her from going to town with us. Firstly it wasn't my idea & secondly she's been barely talking to me so why should I invite somebody that doesn't acknowledge me?
I informed her that it wasn't my plan & that she should tell Chemistry & not me,but no.The abuse kept coming,so did my tears strolling down my face.I was so shocked,I couldn't believe it. She was sacraficing everything we've been through over town? I ended the conversation with 'I hope you can live with the guilt of ruining our friendship' and I signed out. I cried myself to sleep that night,I will never forget it.
Anyway next day was pretty normal,I went to town with my real friends. I told them all about Millie & how evil and cruel she was to me.They backed me up and I was so relieved. I had a great day in town thanks to them.
*
Today was quite embarassing for me. At around 1pm I decided to go on my laptop,because my friend had just left as she stayed over the night before. My msn started flashing it was aj.He's a decent guy,I mean he has let me down in the past but he is innocent at heart so I can forgive him for it. Well we started talking and our conversation started to get deep. I was reading twilight by this time and I was telling him how I wish I had an Edward Cullen of my own. He just found it amusing,he told me how much he was in love with his ex girlfriend.It touched me to see how in love he was,and all I could think about was him. Not Aj but you know the one that constantly pulls on my heartstrings? Yes that one. Well I started telling AJ how I felt about him. He told me I should tell him how I felt but to be honest I thought it was quite pointless at the time. Then guess who signs in just as I'm talking about him? I instantly produced a big cheesy grin as I seen his screen name flash. I hate it,how he has such power of me,I like to be in control.
I finally got the courage to tell him how I felt.I felt that he needed to know,he is my best friend,I tell him everything. I want him to know well atleast I thought I did at the time.He started asking me what I was thinking about so I thought 'perfect I'll tell him now'. It took me awhile to tell him,a good 20minutes or so. He already knew by the time I replied that it was him that I was thinking about. I admitted it with a simple sentence 'I still like you'. My heart suddenly started beating rapidly and i instantly hid the msn screen so I couldn't see his reply. I was so embarassed beyond belief and I was nearly hyperventilating. "What did I just say?" - I kept saying to myself.
I eventually became brave enough to click on his window to see what he replied,it was simply 'awwh' and as dense as I am I told him how embarassed I was and he simply replied "please don't be,I'm glad you told me". I basically started admitting a few other things for example "your smile makes my heart melt" which is rather embarassing,but I want him to know.I just have a feeling that he needs to know.
I feel so much better now,it's like a weight's been lifted off my shoulder. Atleast now when I get a rush of jealousy he will know why and not question it. Thank god.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Sunday, November 30, 2008
It's been awhile...
I know I'm terribly sorry I haven't written a blog in a long time. I've been extra busy with homework and such that I just got sooo lazy,anyways enough of me apologising.
What's her Face's Birthday Party
To be honest,i wasn't pretty thrilled with going to her party. First of all I had to wear a dress,and people who know me,know I don't wear dressed & i was slightly nervous about what everybody would think of me in one. I mean I don't usually care what people think,but people goin' to this party are actually really good friends to me & I don't want to be the one that everyone looks at and feels better about themselves.Another issue was who's party I was going to. We had a rather large argument and she sent me some pretty nasty texts,naturally I saved them to remind me of her true colors. Did I really want to go to someone's party who texts me things like this? I wasn't sure.After all the hard thinking of what to do I finally convinced myself to go.I mean why should I sacrifice my time to have fun and let people win?
Finding a dress was harder than it seems for me. I mean my taste is pretty akward and I've a big build which made it even harder. I tried on this stunning red dress but the problem was it was one of those annoying zips where it gets caught in the fabric nearly all the time. I got my mam to help me but didn't it get stuck! So we had to literally rip the zip so I could get out of it. Needless to say we got out of that shop pretty fast.
I finally found the perfect dress. It was white with a flower design on it. Suited my style pretty well, I also wore black wedged heels,because I can walk in them much better and it complimented the dress pretty well.
I got showered and everything for the party. My mam was trying to take a picture of me in my dress,it was rather embarassing. My friend arrived at my house because she was getting a lift with me down to what's her face's party. We also collected another friend on the way down because we were driving that way anyways. We arrived right on time and everyone seemed to show up when we did. It was akward at first because everyone was giving her presents and it was really quiet. What annoyed me was everytime she was handed a present she said & i quote 'OMG THANKS SO MUCH I LOVE IT,ITS CUTE AWWWH HEHE' no word of a lie. There was about 9people giving her presents,you can see why I got annoyed by this.
Anyways the limo arrive at around 6:45 we took a few snapshots and off we went.Me,Chemistry(i havent mentioned her but we're close again) and Eliza(good friend) all sat at the end near the window & the radio of course. It was great because we didn't have to force ourselves to talk to what's her face & the music was fantastic. We all wished it could have lasted longer but we eventually arrived at TGI's.
Food was pretty good I have to say and i enjoyed everyone's company. It was nice to be apart of a group again,I was getting tired of being with the same people over & over again.The cake was soo good,it was white choc and milk choc one. I only ate about a quarter of it because I was stuffed from all the champagne in the limo & the dinner.
We took about 1million photos that night,it was electric. I appreciate what's her face for inviting me even though it didn't feel like it was her party. Overall it was amazing because I was with people I actually liked and I didn't feel pressured into doing anything drastic. I'm glad I decided to go otherwise I would have regretted it.
What's her Face's Birthday Party
To be honest,i wasn't pretty thrilled with going to her party. First of all I had to wear a dress,and people who know me,know I don't wear dressed & i was slightly nervous about what everybody would think of me in one. I mean I don't usually care what people think,but people goin' to this party are actually really good friends to me & I don't want to be the one that everyone looks at and feels better about themselves.Another issue was who's party I was going to. We had a rather large argument and she sent me some pretty nasty texts,naturally I saved them to remind me of her true colors. Did I really want to go to someone's party who texts me things like this? I wasn't sure.After all the hard thinking of what to do I finally convinced myself to go.I mean why should I sacrifice my time to have fun and let people win?
Finding a dress was harder than it seems for me. I mean my taste is pretty akward and I've a big build which made it even harder. I tried on this stunning red dress but the problem was it was one of those annoying zips where it gets caught in the fabric nearly all the time. I got my mam to help me but didn't it get stuck! So we had to literally rip the zip so I could get out of it. Needless to say we got out of that shop pretty fast.
I finally found the perfect dress. It was white with a flower design on it. Suited my style pretty well, I also wore black wedged heels,because I can walk in them much better and it complimented the dress pretty well.
I got showered and everything for the party. My mam was trying to take a picture of me in my dress,it was rather embarassing. My friend arrived at my house because she was getting a lift with me down to what's her face's party. We also collected another friend on the way down because we were driving that way anyways. We arrived right on time and everyone seemed to show up when we did. It was akward at first because everyone was giving her presents and it was really quiet. What annoyed me was everytime she was handed a present she said & i quote 'OMG THANKS SO MUCH I LOVE IT,ITS CUTE AWWWH HEHE' no word of a lie. There was about 9people giving her presents,you can see why I got annoyed by this.
Anyways the limo arrive at around 6:45 we took a few snapshots and off we went.Me,Chemistry(i havent mentioned her but we're close again) and Eliza(good friend) all sat at the end near the window & the radio of course. It was great because we didn't have to force ourselves to talk to what's her face & the music was fantastic. We all wished it could have lasted longer but we eventually arrived at TGI's.
Food was pretty good I have to say and i enjoyed everyone's company. It was nice to be apart of a group again,I was getting tired of being with the same people over & over again.The cake was soo good,it was white choc and milk choc one. I only ate about a quarter of it because I was stuffed from all the champagne in the limo & the dinner.
We took about 1million photos that night,it was electric. I appreciate what's her face for inviting me even though it didn't feel like it was her party. Overall it was amazing because I was with people I actually liked and I didn't feel pressured into doing anything drastic. I'm glad I decided to go otherwise I would have regretted it.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
New haircut,Halloween & PMS moments
Got a new haircut ;D
I didn't really like it at first but Michael convinced me that I look cute so now I believe it is.
Didn't do much today really went shopping with my family got nothing but food lol.
Halloween & After:
Halloween wasn't bad went to Millie's and SHE was there. I guess I put up with her for the sake of it. I literally got zero sleep which was bad because i was going to an 18th birthday party the following day. I slept about an hour from 6am to 7amish I'd say. I had to leave early to get extra sleep & apologised for leaving early & thanked Millie & her parents for allowing me to stay over. I went back home & slept 'till about 3pm then I had to run to 'The Square' (shopping centre) & buy my friend a present for her 18th. Got her Pink's album I knew she'd love that. I rushed home then went to the party.
18th Birthday Party:
My friend's 18th party was amazing,all the people there were just genuinely nice & easy to chat to unlike forcing myself with Millie & HER. Had a few drinks not to much I'm not that keen on getting drunk & not remembering what happens the next day sorta thing. We had a go of singstar & stuff then i went home at 4am. It was a brilliant night.
PMS Moment:
So yeah there I was at home on a Sunday evening & I was on MSN,chatting away when i get a message from Millie. Apparently I insulted her greatly? Of course she wouldn't tell me,then she said everyone agreed with her. Wow I don't think I deserved to be spoken about but that's Millie for you. I told her I apologised for leaving early & she eventually got over it. But GOD it really annoyed me for the rest of the week.
I didn't really like it at first but Michael convinced me that I look cute so now I believe it is.
Didn't do much today really went shopping with my family got nothing but food lol.
Halloween & After:
Halloween wasn't bad went to Millie's and SHE was there. I guess I put up with her for the sake of it. I literally got zero sleep which was bad because i was going to an 18th birthday party the following day. I slept about an hour from 6am to 7amish I'd say. I had to leave early to get extra sleep & apologised for leaving early & thanked Millie & her parents for allowing me to stay over. I went back home & slept 'till about 3pm then I had to run to 'The Square' (shopping centre) & buy my friend a present for her 18th. Got her Pink's album I knew she'd love that. I rushed home then went to the party.
18th Birthday Party:
My friend's 18th party was amazing,all the people there were just genuinely nice & easy to chat to unlike forcing myself with Millie & HER. Had a few drinks not to much I'm not that keen on getting drunk & not remembering what happens the next day sorta thing. We had a go of singstar & stuff then i went home at 4am. It was a brilliant night.
PMS Moment:
So yeah there I was at home on a Sunday evening & I was on MSN,chatting away when i get a message from Millie. Apparently I insulted her greatly? Of course she wouldn't tell me,then she said everyone agreed with her. Wow I don't think I deserved to be spoken about but that's Millie for you. I told her I apologised for leaving early & she eventually got over it. But GOD it really annoyed me for the rest of the week.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Feelings never truely go away do they?
Well I've been having late night discussions with Michael alot lately,
it doesn't take long before my feelings come rushing back.
He talked 'bout how things weren't goin great & how we used to be.
It got me thinking about alot of things that I've avoiding all these months.
I did try to cheer him up & it worked 'thanks you made me laugh even though i was shitty'
that really made my day :')
I can't get too close though,I'm not going through all this confusingness again,
My brain has enough to contend with.
Today
Not much really just chatted on msn for a bit,
too sick to go out tbh,up all night with my cough :/
He was on again,he went on cam to show me what he was wearing,
I didn't ask he just did it :L
But wow,he was absolutely gorgeous,I'm serious the shirt & everything.
It really brought me back.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
A good Sunday for once.
Wow today was actually decent.
Woke up early enough thinking it was 11 when infact it was 10.
I think everyone forgets when the clock goes backwards except for sky & the cinema. lol
Anyways yeah got up early and lazed around for an hour or two.
My mam started complaining about how lazy I am but yuno I never listen.
So there I was being lazy,then my dad starts banging on the window.
He went out to meet some guys for a bike run but he went on the wrong day LOL.
I heard his bike but like I though he had a key...obviously not xD.
I went to my room & grabbed my creative zen(mp3FTW) & my mp3 speakers. I took 'em down & played them while i was straightening my hair. Who knew straightening my gay hair would be so much fun? :D
It got to around 12ish & here's me thinking 'oh crap my aunt is coming at one'
So I like rushed...I mean RUSHED to my bedroom which is on the 3rd floor by the way
and tried to find what to wear. Nothing was ironed seriously but I found this top and when I had it on it looked fine mwuaha.
So yeah I was dressed and all that jazz & i was being forced to unload the dishwasher. As if like? So yeah I did & as soon as I went to put my eyeliner on,my aunt pulls up in the car with all my cousins. So i'm like 'shit' so I wiped my half assed eyeliner from my face and ran down.
I was all good to go,so my aunt brought me & my cousin to the cinema & got the tickets for high school musical 3 that we booked awhile ago. And off we went.
EMBARASSING UPDATE:
Well I was in the line to get our popcorn & shiz and my friend's brother was at the till. I don't even like him but for some reason I got really embarassed,I went bright red & I knew he was embarassed too. Then too top it all off he forgot my coke so i was like 'uhm..i ordered a coke too' & he was like 'oh...' and got me it but charged me extra! as if.
Anyways..yeah the movie was fantastic,I was expecting alot & it did exceed my expectations by a long shot. Zac was really fitt for once mwuaha,he didn't look as childish as he always looks in hsm movies. It was different & I liked it.
So right now my cuz is staying the night & i'll post updates tomorow.
Woke up early enough thinking it was 11 when infact it was 10.
I think everyone forgets when the clock goes backwards except for sky & the cinema. lol
Anyways yeah got up early and lazed around for an hour or two.
My mam started complaining about how lazy I am but yuno I never listen.
So there I was being lazy,then my dad starts banging on the window.
He went out to meet some guys for a bike run but he went on the wrong day LOL.
I heard his bike but like I though he had a key...obviously not xD.
I went to my room & grabbed my creative zen(mp3FTW) & my mp3 speakers. I took 'em down & played them while i was straightening my hair. Who knew straightening my gay hair would be so much fun? :D
It got to around 12ish & here's me thinking 'oh crap my aunt is coming at one'
So I like rushed...I mean RUSHED to my bedroom which is on the 3rd floor by the way
and tried to find what to wear. Nothing was ironed seriously but I found this top and when I had it on it looked fine mwuaha.
So yeah I was dressed and all that jazz & i was being forced to unload the dishwasher. As if like? So yeah I did & as soon as I went to put my eyeliner on,my aunt pulls up in the car with all my cousins. So i'm like 'shit' so I wiped my half assed eyeliner from my face and ran down.
I was all good to go,so my aunt brought me & my cousin to the cinema & got the tickets for high school musical 3 that we booked awhile ago. And off we went.
EMBARASSING UPDATE:
Well I was in the line to get our popcorn & shiz and my friend's brother was at the till. I don't even like him but for some reason I got really embarassed,I went bright red & I knew he was embarassed too. Then too top it all off he forgot my coke so i was like 'uhm..i ordered a coke too' & he was like 'oh...' and got me it but charged me extra! as if.
Anyways..yeah the movie was fantastic,I was expecting alot & it did exceed my expectations by a long shot. Zac was really fitt for once mwuaha,he didn't look as childish as he always looks in hsm movies. It was different & I liked it.
So right now my cuz is staying the night & i'll post updates tomorow.
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